As usual, God has proven to be very weird and very beautiful. I guess one of my biggest problems in my faith life has been my inability to actually, uh, trust Him when things are hard. I’m a control freak, I guess, like everyone. I shoulda probably passed out or started crying at some point during this entire filming thing, but I ended up not doing so. It was strange. First time I’ve ever really trusted Him with my problems and let go of them completely, and everything worked out beautifully. I didn’t have a breakdown, my film came out great, the Biology test that I didn’t study for more than two hours for and that I wasn’t in class for two weeks leading up to proved to be not much of a challenge. I don’t know why I’m always surprised when God proves to be faithful in these situations, but it never fails.

He’s shown me a ton in the last few weeks. Life is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I dunno, this has easily been the hardest three weeks of my life and I have never felt more drained than I do in this moment, but I have never, ever, ever been happier.

The more I decrease, the more He increases. And the happier I am.

This is another one of those things that I can’t really put into words except to say that life is hard and God is good…

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